Bombs Away

What an interesting world we live in when people who need jobs can't get jobs because of lack of experience, and yet they are applying for the job to get said experience. Does no one in the industry believe that someone could possibly pick up on the job training quickly and be a vital part of the team? Think about it there are some many companies that have their own variety of systems, and engines, and ways of doing things, isn't it at least plausible that someone with half a brain could possibly be able to figure out what their company does differently? Seriously how about just giving someone a 90 minute trial, and if they can't cut it you drop them. Yes I know everyone wants that perfect employee on the first try, but lets face it shit happens, and sometimes the dark horse turns out to be the true stud.

Oh well, I guess that's why I'm not the employer at this current moment in time. Internet Journalism really doesn't pay the bills unless you have some substantial backers willing to help. Its also a place where if you know someone, or someone knows you, you have that much more of a leg up on the competition. The problem is that there are many times where I feel these sites fail to uphold their end of the bargain, they get swooned by the money that a sponsor gives them and then they are no longer going with their gut on reviews, or news. Then again I'm sure if you are served enough Kool-Aid, at the right price, it would be pretty tempting to taint a couple of reviews.

I know there's probably not a lot of people out there that read this blog, hell I barely remember that I've still got this, on most days, but I'm seeing this is more of a venting platform for me. Sure everything is connected now, and I'm sure some future employer way down the road will read this and think I'm a bitchy son of a bitch, but the truth of the matter is that at least I'm willing to voice my opinion, and my gut about what is happening around me. Sure I do it in written words, most definitely more than I do with spoken words, but the end results are the same, someone is going to hear the voice, any they may agree, or they may disagree. Sure I could say that I've got it all right, but lets be honest there isn't any one or place or company that has it completely right. Also surely there isn't a place that isn't tainted ever so slightly for the love of green. We live in a capitalistic society, so the more you get the better you look. Sure the art side is great, and the passion is amazing, but with just those two things you might still have to hold that as a hobby, and take on a second job, much like I do, to pay the bills.

Another Post Because I Felt like it

I've got to say as the time has gone on with the Altered Confusion stuff that I'm both excited and beyond stressed out about it. I feel that we're making some kind of a connection with some people, but at the same time I also feel like those some people are in the single digits. I want to have all the up to the minute news, and I want to have the latest and greatest games reviewed, but when it comes to the majority of that its just me. I wish I had someone with the passion that I had to help me along on this journey.

But enough about that... haven't you ever felt that you have such potential but that its locked behind some kind of invisible wall inside you, and you feel the urge to do something, but when you do it you fall well short of what you're trying to do. For example I know I can write a story, I have all the confidence in the world, but when I actually sit down to right, its gone, there's no story to be had, and if there is one I get about 5 pages in and then poof... done.

Same deal with my comics, I feel that I could do good comics, but my OCD has definitely de-railed that train to the point that I'm going to do a complete reboot, and perhaps start with stick figures. Which of course would cause me to draw a lot more often, and perhaps I can improve my skills.

The sad thing is that I fall into the category of if I've got the book or I've done it once that I'll accel at it... and lets be honest, that shit never happens that way. Practice makes perfect, but in a world where I feel I have to squeeze every little second out there's just not enough time to practice. For example in an average week I have the 8 to 5 job, then I've got working out at the gym twice a week, I've also got a basketball game at least once a week that I play in, I'm trying to run Altered Confusion so I've got about 10 games that I need to play through, I want to update the comics on Altered Confusion so I need time to draw a comic, the average time of which is around 2 hours for one. I've also got the podcast at some point during the week, then I have to edit it and then load it up on the site. I've also got to keep up with the hot new news of what is going on in the gaming industry. I'm married so I like to spend time with my wife, and watch TV shows with her which averages about 2 to 3 hours a night. So I'm left with very little left to make practice perfect, but perhaps I just need the right motivation to break through.

I do have to say that working a job like the one I have, the paying one, not the Altered Confusion one, takes a lot out of someone because every three weeks I'm on-call for a week straight, most of the time I'm just sitting in front of the computer hoping that some work will come by otherwise I'm stuck staring blankly at my screen. I'm not allowed to do anything that doesn't appear to be work related so I can't work on my comics, on my writing (well besides a quick post), I definitely can't get away with playing games at my desk on the DS or PSP, and of course there's no chance that I will be allowed to read at my desk because that sends the wrong message.

Perhaps my trip to BlizzCon this week will be exactly what the doctor ordered and I'll finally start tearing down some walls, as for tonight, I'm hoping for a good basketball game, and perhaps a little time with the Mrs. as well as some gaming and comic time.