False Entitlement

I went to the Hawks game last night and what I found there was something I'll never forget, or understand. The Hawks had moments where they showed that they are a power to be reckoned with, but for the most part the Hawks played as if they couldn't lose the game, no matter how flat Crawford's shot was, or how Zaza appeared once in the game to have a very questionable flagrant foul called on him and then sit on the bench the rest of the game. The Hawks are falling apart from the inside out. The faith in what this team can do is almost completely gone. Especially since they have to go to Milwaukee and the Hawks are not a road team whatsoever. I would LOVE, freaking LOVE, to be proven wrong, but I think this is now the time to kiss Joe Johnson goodbye as he is going to move onto what he believes are greener pastures, but will probably be a building project, just like Atlanta continues to be.

Look, Hawks, I understand that you guys are a great team, but PLAY like it, don't just think it, do it. Stop your bickering, stop your whining, just play fucking basketball. If I had the chance like all of you have, even if its to sit on the bench the entire game with the exception of 4 minutes, I will be playing balls to the wall hard nose basketball. Even if we're up by double digits. The Hawks are capable of pounding a team into the ground, but everytime you wound them, you take your foot off the gas, STOP doing that. If it's the coach who is pulling back on the throttle, shut him out and destroy your opponent. Zone out the crowd, and get the bigs posted down low and beat them up. The Hawks have size and strength, but only used it sparingly, that shits got to start happening. Yes its not as glamorous, and yes Crawford and Joe don't get the ball as often, but if you can get that inside game working, then those two will reap the benefits because the Bucks will have to double up down low and they'll get the ball back, wide open, for thier shots.

About time

Well its been about 2 years since last I was on this site. I figured since my other site, alteredconfusion.com is all work, I'd come back here to write some stuff. I thought about putting a blog area on Altered Confusion, but it didn't feel right when I gave it a quick test run.

So its 2 years down the road, I am now married, still live in the same place, still testing the waters with my semi-artistic skills. I have taken my foot a bit off the pedal when it comes to game reviews simply because I was going to burn out real quick if I tried to review games in the quantity of 3 people. Now that didn't sound exactly right so basically doing 3 people's jobs by myself, just for reviews.

Altered Confusion has been one hell of an interesting experience. It really shows how much I've had to work on it and how those who I thought would be as eager as I was to do it, have not been. The toughest thing for me is the fact that I sometimes have the hardest time trying to figure out why everyone isn't as passionate about this as I am.

The answer is that it's not their baby. I created this thing, basically set out a guideline, and since it structured how I think it should work there are those who just don't see it that way. There are those out there who are trapped in their jobs, or have changed with the years of life they have already spent.

I've wanted to go back down that road of creativity, the one I had since birth until basically I graduated from Full Sail. The problem then becomes the fact that I no longer possess those friends that live near me, that at a drop of a hat will come together and play a paper and pencil game, or a random boardgame that very few have heard of. For that I'm truly saddened. Yes there are those rare glimmers, and maybe I've now got a routine starting to build so I can capture at least the board games once a week.

Now switching back to Altered Confusion. There are days where I feel like if I just quit my day job and focus solely on Altered Confusion that I'll be able to make it into something that I've only dreamed about. The honest truth though is that I'd never do that. Not that I'm giving up on my dream, but I know that if I didn't have my day job I would truly blow myself out of the water with the amount of stress and expectations of trying to make things happen fast. I've learned, though sometimes I don't want to follow this line of logic, that I may never become this uber awesome amazing easily recognizable person because of Altered Confusion, and there's a chance that I might float in obscurity for many many years to come, but if I keep doing what I'm doing because its something I like to do, then at the end of the day that's all that matters. If I'm trying to eventually turn a profit and that's the only thing that is driving me, and there's no joy in anything I do, then I might as well stop and save myself some time.

Now I'm sure that me taking my foot off the gas on certain parts of Altered Confusion could be seen as me slowly giving up, but the truth of the matter is that I want to continue to find enjoyment in games. I'm not doing this for a job I'm doing it for fun. If I forget that and start playing like a machine, I'd hate myself.

I know that I could write forever, and I'm sure that I could probably do it, but the truth of the matter is that that would not be seen as good use of my day at work, even though in my mind anything that allows me to keep myself busy and alert for the next thing is good use of time.